I have spent time the last few weeks thinking about many things in my life. And I sometimes wonder, as we get older, and hit "mid-life", if that is why we begin to take stock of our lives, so to speak, and wonder what we could have changed or done differently.
I think the only thing I really would want to change are the years I rebelled against God. the years I chose to serve my sin, rather than my heavenly Father.
As I have now passed the half century mark in age by almost a year, I am beginning to understand why some people go thru a mid-life crisis. There but for the grace of God, go I, also. If I were not a born again believer in Jesus Christ, I might be very tempted to make alot of wrong decisions, wrong choices that would affect not only me, but others.
WHAT I WOULD CHANGE IF I COULD.
When, at the age of 17, I accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior, I was saying that I believed that He is the one true God, that He died on the cross at Calvary that day 2000 years ago, for my sins, and that on July 19, 1977, He willingly and freely gave me the gift of eternal life when I admitted to Him, that I had sin, was a sinner and was repentant of my sins. I wanted Him to wash my heart white as snow. Jesus came to live in my heart that day, and then not only did my heart belong to Jesus, but ALL of me.
Several years later, I was to take control back of my life and live as I pleased for a time. It is true that there is pleasure in sin for a season, but when our heart and life belong to Christ he will not allow that sin to continue. When I gave up on Jesus and walked away, He NEVER gave up on me. And when I came back and recommitted my heart to Him, He welcomed me with open arms. I never lost my salvation when I walked away, but I lost my best friend for awhile. Jesus cannot look upon our sins and smile on us! How many tears has Jesus shed for me as He interceded to God on my behalf?
There have been consequences to my wrong choices, but once my heart was turned back to God, then I have been blessed beyond measure.
WHAT I WOULD NOT CHANGE
I would not change the parents or sister God gave me. I would have loved to have known my brother, but I will someday, of that I am sure. I would not trade my nieces or nephew, or their families for anything in this world. I love them all. I would not trade my extended family, either. Although, no family sees eye to eye on things, and there are disagreements, we are still family and we are bound by love!
The grandparents God gave me blessed me in many ways. Granddad Moss accepted Jesus as his Savior before he died, all because I was brave enough at the age of 4 to tell him he was going to tell if he didn't get saved. Oh, to be that blunt at 50! :) Grandma Moss once told me she loved me because I was a plain Jane. At first I thought to be offended, but then I realized she meant, I was who I was.. I was not fake... take me or leave. I am who I am. and still am that way today, I hope! Pa Trembly was a true man of great faith, of strong moral character and a man who believed in serving God with all his heart. In the early 80's, Pa was living in KS, staying with our family and Sawyers, and one day I had come in from the field for lunch. Pa met me at the door, took my hand in his, and with tears in his eyes said, "Thank you, Sharon, for living your life for God". Oh how those words came back to haunt me several years later when I was not living for Christ. I remembered them then, and always! Grandma trembly had mental health issues, and was not always "with it" for us, but I was blessed to have been able to spend time with her and Pa, and have her treat me like a princess. That is the only time I really remember Grandma being pretty "with it".
I would not change the church family God has given me, either. We all have our differences, but together we serve an awesome God, and He has given us each other. My church family has been there for me in ways I cannot begin to say. They have been my spiritual strength in difficult times, and have loved me. God has blessed me with a wonderful Pastor who has chosen to serve Christ with ALL his heart. and is a great example of Christ-like character to all who meet him.
I would not change where I have been or who I am now. I am stronger because of growing up on a farm. working hard. Not having all the luxuries of life. I am who I am because of the parents I had, who taught me right from wrong, took me to church, lived what they believed, and loved me unconditionally.
The only thing I would change with my parents, is to have had them with me longer. i miss them so much. I can see there smiles, hear their voices if I listen close.
I am blessed with a chosen son, Isaac, who has been like my child since he was a few months old. He has wonderful parents who have allowed me to be a part of his life and to love him and spoil him. His mom has even said at time.."Do you know what your son did this time?" How many parents so freely share their child's love without jealousy? Thank you Mac and Ali!
I am blessed with a chosen daughter, also, who has been a part of my life for almost 20 years now. Our stubborn streaks do mot mesh well at times, but I could not love her more if she were my own flesh and blood. I love you Cerina! She has blessed me with a beautiful granddaughter, now 4, who is a delight! this Grandma's heart swelled with
joy this past weke, as Cydnee said, "Grandma, when you are no longer with me, Jesus will with me wherever I go!" She is learning about Jesus. And she prayed the other night in her childhood innocence. "Dear Jesus, I love you Jesus and I love God and I love mommy. Amen!" I pray she will continue to learn of His love and accept Him as her Savior, too.
I am blessed with wonderful girl friends who listen to me, laugh with me, cry with me, and tell me I'm an idiot when I need to hear it!
I am blessed with my birth family, my church family and my friends. I am blessed to be one of God's children for all times! I am blessed to have a job, to be able to pay my bills, to live in a country where I can worship Jesus freely.
I guess all this came about because of all the recent Christan postings on face book and especially the one about starting a Christian revival on face book. As I thought about that, I thought where does a true revival begin? It begins in our hearts, not on paper, when we truly let Christ reign within us.
So, let the revival begin in me, in my heart and let me be willing to take a stand for Christ!
