Being a single person, I once thought about trying  to have a baby.  Go thru invitro, etc., but  it was never meant to be, and that was a part of God’s master plan.

What God did for me, though, was bless me with 2 children of my heart.  My daughter, Cerina, came into my life when she was around 4 or 5.  There had been some family issues, and she just needed me and I  needed her.  The first time I got her to talk to me (she was quite shy around those she did not know), she curled up on my lap and snuggled in.  I could say ....and the rest is history……but there is a lot more :)   Cerina  spent as much time with me as she could, and as I could work into my schedule. She was cute, and stubborn, and sweet and strong willed all rolled in to one.   She loved me unconditionally, as I did/do her.    She lived with me for a while as a teen (oh my!  Enough said)  I moved her to college, I saw her thru some  rough times in the transition from teenager to adult.  I watched her  become a mom,  go thru a separation, hurt. Then I watched as she blossomed when she fell in love with the man who is her life mate.  She blessed me with a beautiful grand daughter  and a son-in-law.   We have had ups and downs… tears and laughter…  disagreements… bonding…happy and sad times. We have shared joys and sorrows.

And then there is my son of my heart………. Isaac.  at two months old, he would come to me and snuggle up.  He only wanted his momma  when he was hungry.  I kept him overnight at 8 months old.  He spent Sunday afternoons with me, sat beside me in church.  Told me at the age of 4 that he was going to marry me when he grew up.  Stole my heart, he did.  He brought joy and laughter everywhere he went.  He loved going to the farm with me,  He was blonde and blue eyed and adorable.  Even at the age of 8  or 10, Isaac worked hard to help me do things around my yard, and as he grew, he worked even harder helping me.  When he was almost 11 , he started going to Colorado with me each summer, to help my ant with a school reunion (catering).  The older generation loved him ,and always  commented on how nice and helpful he was, and always willing to work. ( he has an awesome mom and dad who have taught him well). At 15, he told me,  “remember when you said I had to be taller than you to marry you?” “Yes, I do” “well, I don’t’ think I am going to be taller than you.”   Heartbreak.  I knew that day was coming when he would realize he was not going to marry me, but alas………… (I really was okay with it ):)   Isaac has continued to grow into a fine young man……now almost 19, AND taller than me, and not afraid to dance with me at his brother’s wedding, or to hug me or his grandparents.  He is  the kind of young man every mother would dream of to have their daughter marry.  Smart, handsome, kind, hardworking, gentle, honest, trustworthy, truthful,  and a true man of God.

I could not have chosen better children to call “mine” .  God knew before time began that I would have no blood related children, but he also knew I would have two heart children, that would be just exactly what I needed, and who I needed. 

Family is not always by birth.  Family are those we hold near and dear to our hearts, those who have become a part of us.  Those  we have loved and do love unconditionally.

Today, I am learning first hand the heart ache of a mother. Who loves her child so much.  My heart daughter ‘s daddy is losing his battle with cancer, and all his children have been called to come say their farewells.  This is her daddy,  the man who has loved her all her life. Unconditionally.  The man who held her when she cried as a child. The man who she argued with and did not always agree.  The man who walked her down the aisle, and gave her  to her husband. The man who danced with her.  Then man who has always been her daddy, her hero.  I lost my daddy  almost 12 years ago, so I know how it hurts to watch them slip away.  And I know how my heart hurts to watch her watch her daddy slip away.  My eyes fill with tears as my heart child goes thru this hard time. I understand what it means to want to protect them from all things bad or sad or wrong.  

Hold tight to those you love .  Make amends, make memories and more than that say I love you.  Show that you love them.   Treasure them.  When they are gone, there is no going back. 

I love you, children of my heart.....Cerina, Brandon, Cydnee and Issac.