A Hard Day

9-5-09
Today, I started sorting thru moms things, and boxing, keeping, throwing away. I spent half the day reading old cards and sorting thru memories from times past. She has so many pictures. I put them all in one dresser, with hopes of sorting thru them this fall. I found cards from her bridal shower; mom and dads wedding invitation, my Grandma Moss's perfect attendance award from March 3, 1919; notes from moms senior trip; school records of dad, one from his 5th grade; and more...............
I even found a letter from mom's dad, writing to mom and dad when Sandy, my sister, was born. And several cards welcoming Sandy into the world............I think she will enjoy having those. Mom and dad lost a baby boy in 1954, at the age of 3weeks and one day. Calvin had some internal problems, but also developed pneumonia and jaundice. They were heartbroken when Calvin died, and I remember dad saying that is one of the only times he remembers seeing his dad cry. It was dads folks first grandchild. The 4th on moms side. No matter the order, it is heart wrenching to lose a child. Mom and dad did not talk much about Calvin, and until we moved mom to Wellington to live with me 2 years ago, did we even know that a picture of my brother was around. One had been found in Pa's stuff. Mom said Calvin had blond hair with a curl on his forehead, and his eyes were bluer each day. I remember growing up, looking at blue-eyed, blond guys and wondering if my brother would have looked like "that". Mom had always said that she and dad were not in church when Calvin was born, and she always believed that God chose to take Calvin to heaven, to bring them back to Him.
It seems as we sort thru another's "life", many memories come flooding back. I am not done in moms room. Her pictures are tucked safely away at the moment, and her clothes are sorted thru. Rachel wants some to put with her girls other great-grandma's clothes to make a quilt for them. I will use some in sewing, too. What a better way to make a special memory that can be kept close and treasured thru the years.
As I sorted thru her things and read papers, I saw a women who was willing to give. I found her autograph books from many many years ago (the 1940's) and it is awesome to read what others wrote about her.
Mom was a lady. Some may say just a "farm/ranch wife", but to me she was a classy lady. She stayed strong in her faith, thru good times and bad. She put her trust in the One and only One who can give us Life. She stood by dad, thru his health problems, and likewise, he with her thru hers. there were poor times, and not so poor times; there was sickness and health, there was better and there was worse. She, and dad, kept there wedding vows, and were an example to those around, that you can stay married thru many things. Mom loved her daughters unconditionally, and her grandchildren and great grandchildren the same...........Although, I think the great grandchildren were her pride and joy in old age............But that is okay. They brought her happiness, with their child innoncence, and their love for her and their smiles so freely given to her. She would have given anything, or done anything for any of her children........And although, I have no children, she loved my 2 chosen children, Cerina and Isaac, and my chosen granddaughter, Cydnee, as if they were her grandchildren. She loved teaching Sunday School and being a part of children's lives.
Mom has left a legacy for us. A legacy of faith, and Godly values. Of moral values, and right living. Of being honest and serving. A legacy of hard work, and giving.
I will ever be grateful to you, mom. I only hope that I can leave the same kind of legacy you have. You taught me by example more than words. you loved me unconditionally. Now, it's my turn to carry on for you.
I love you mom, with all my heart. The ache lessens as time passes, but you will forever live in my heart and memories.